A 75 year-old man goes to his doctor for a check-up

Doctor: “You’re doing fairly well for your age.”

Patient: “You think I’ll live to be 80?”

Doctor: “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?”

Patient: “No, I’ve never done either.”

Doctor: “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

Patient: “No, red meat is unhealthy!”

Doctor: “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, such as playing golf?”

Patient: “No, I don’t.”

Doctor: “Do you gamble, drive fast cars or fool around with sexy women?”

Patient: “No, never!”

Doctor: “Then why do you want to live to be 80?”

The 80 Year-Old Man And His Beautiful Young Bride

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

“I’ve never been better!” he boasted.

“I’ve got a 20 year old bride who’s pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?”

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.

He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.”

The doctor continued, “So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!

He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle.”

“And do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied “No.”

The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front of him!”

“That’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “Someone else must have shot that bear.”

“That’s kind of what I’m getting at…” replied the doctor.

Probably the most anticipated movie in 2015!

A Homeless Man Knocks On A Woman’s Door

A homeless man knocks on a woman’s door.

“Think you could spare a few bucks? Maybe some food?”

The woman thinks to herself for a few seconds, then says, “You could do some handy work around here. I’ll give you $30 if you paint my porch. There’s some green paint and a brush right around the corner there, have at it.”

He thanks her, and heads towards the bucket. She returns inside and resumes her knitting. After about an hour, she gets up to check on his progress. She sees no man, and the porch hasn’t been touched. Just then, she hears knocking again at her door.

She is greeted by the same man, green paint splattered on his clothes and in his beard, a wide grin on his face.

“All done ma’am. And by the way, it’s a Cadillac, not a Porsche.”

Want some Lollipop?

After offering chocolate (Kit-Kat), now Google is ready to serve you Lollipops. Google finally revealed the official name of its next version Android L — Android 5.0 Lollipop.

The newly released Android 5.0 Lollipop ships with the latest Motorola-made Nexus 6 smartphone and Nexus 9 tablet built by HTC, but the company did not make the Lollipop available for download to other users immediately. The older versions of Nexus devices will receive the Lollipop update in the coming weeks.

Lollipop features some significant changes to the Android platform with a sleek new user interface, cross platform support and improved performance via the new ART runtime engine. The operating system also offers better battery life, improved notifications, OpenGL ES 3.1 and 64-bit support, among other features.

 

Here are some most notable features of Android 5.0 Lollipop, along with some insight as to when you might be able to get your hands on it.

Google describes Lollipop as “the largest Android release yet,” with more than 5,000 new APIs. So from the developer’s perspective, there is a lot for developers to explore. Technically, the release brings Android up to API level 21.

 

 1) MATERIAL DESIGN

Lollipop features a redesigned User Interface, which is referred to as Material Design, in which Google made extensive use of animations and layered elements to deliver what it promises.

The material design interface runs on multiple types of devices, including everything from your smartphone and tablet to your laptop and TV. The new interface supports elevation values, real-time shadows and lighting that gives a 3D appearance overall.

 

2) SECURITY IMPROVEMENTS

With Lollipop, Security gets enhanced as well, since it comes with encryption turned on by default in order to protect users’ data from being accessed on lost or stolen devices.

Most importantly, now you are free to share your devices with any of your friends, as Lollipop offers you guest user mode, where you can create multiple user accounts to enable your friends to log in on your device. Therefore, in both the cases, no one will be able to access your private files.

 

3) ANDROID SMART LOCK

For an extra layer of security, there is an Android Smart Lock, which makes it easier to unlock your phone without having to constantly enter a pin or trace a pattern. Android smart lock secures your phone or tablet by pairing it with a trusted device like your Android smartwatch, car, or even facial expressions.

For example, your Android Lollipop device will recognize your Smart watch and let you unlock your phone by simply tapping the power button. The company has also enforced the SELinux security module for all apps to give better protection against vulnerabilities and malware.

 

4) NOTIFICATIONS ENHANCEMENT

Notifications also get enhanced with the new OS, as of now you’ll be able to rank them based on your priorities. You can now view and respond to messages directly from your lock screen, and also could hide notifications for sensitive contents by turning on Priority mode through your device’s volume button.

You can also choose to avoid calls from interrupting the game you are playing or the movie you are watching.

 

5) KILL-SWITCH IMPROVEMENT

Among lots of other features of Lollipop, Google is supporting a “kill-switch” to make stolen phones unusable through what it is calling “Factory Reset Protection.”

Essentially, it requires a password before a phone can be reset, ideally preventing thieves and intruders from making use of stolen phones.

 

6) RUNTIME AND PERFORMANCE BOOST

Users will experience a faster, smoother and more powerful computing with Lollipop. ART, an entirely new Android runtime, improves application performance and responsiveness as well. The new Android is ready for the 64-bit era, as it comes fully prepared to support a full 64-bit environment.

• Supports 64 bit devices that brings desktop class CPUs to Android
• Support for 64-bit SoCs using ARM, x86, and MIPS-based cores
• Shipping 64-bit native apps like Chrome, Gmail, Calendar, Google Play Music, and more
• Pure Java language apps run as 64-bit apps automatically

 

7) BATTERY LIFE

Last but not least, Android Lollipop is expected to bring some serious battery improvements to your mobile devices via Google’s Project Volta. The software will benefit you from a Power Saving mode that detects when your handset’s battery life is low, the app can automatically reduce CPU load and display brightness.

According to Google, the feature can get you an additional 90 minutes when you are running low, which is a lot of power when you are running on empty. The feature also displays an estimated time left to fully charge when your device is plugged in as well as time left on your device before you need to charge again.

Images that will perk your mood

 

 

 

Now that’s an apple watch

Lying grade school style

Yeah dragons are real

Perfect shot

C’mon??

Who want some?

Now I know who came out first

Isn’t that adorable?

The moment you realize someone’s peeing on the water

Perfect catch

There you go Patrick

Life cycle of a toothbrush

Who said iphones aren’t user-friendly?

Moment of truth

Illusion at its best

Here kitty kitty kitty

Meanwhile in…..

Warning!

Yo Dad!

Who wanna try?

Getting ready for halloween

This is how you do it

Greatest duo of all time

Here comes Windows 10!

 

Is it worth the wait? What do you think?

My Version of FREE Practical Life Tips

fantastic! 🙂

this is Bob Ellis' page

 

1. You can “rewire” your brain to be happy by simply recalling 3 things you’re grateful for every day for 21 days.
2. When an elderly person can’t hear you, speak deeper, not louder. This will make it much easier for them to hear.
3. When a bag of chips is stuck in a vending machine, don’t buy the same bag again to unjam it, buy something above it.
4. Hate how videos automatically play on Facebook? Turn them off by going to Facebook.com/settings and then go to “videos” and switch the tab “off”
5. Do this for 21 days, you’ll be surprised how good you feel. No candies, no cakes, No chips, no white breads, No fast foods, No chocolates, No ice cream.
6. As much as you hate them, cold showers are much better for your hair and skin.
7. Forgiveness can actually has health benefits. It can reduce the risk of heart attacks…

View original post 393 more words

RUDE! -Magic

Saturday morning jumped out of bed
And put on my best suit
Got in my car and raced like a jet
All the way to you
Knocked on your door with heart in my hand
To ask you a question
‘Cause I know that you’re an old-fashioned man, yeah

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes ’cause I need to know
You say I’ll never get your blessing ’til the day I die
Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is ‘No’

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I’m gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
Yeah, no matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we’ll be a family
Why you gotta be so
Rude

I hate to do this, you leave no choice
Can’t live without her
Love me or hate me we will be boys
Standing at that altar
Or we will run away
To another galaxy, you know
You know she’s in love with me
She will go anywhere I go

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes ’cause I need to know
You say I’ll never get your blessing ’til the day I die
Tough luck, my friend, ’cause the answer’s still ‘No”

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I’m gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
No matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we’ll be a family
Why you gotta be so
Rude
Rude

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes ’cause I need to know
You say, I’ll never get your blessing ’til the day I die
Tough luck, my friend, but ‘No’ still means ‘No’!

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I’m gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
No matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we’ll be a family
Why you gotta be so
Rude
Why you gotta be so
Rude
Why you gotta be so rude?

Try any of these Practical Tips: It’s FREE!

 

1. Always make sure your belt matches your shoe color. It makes your overall appearance look much more out together.

2. If you want to unclog a toilet without a plunger, put hot water and soap in the toilet and let it sit for 5 minutes.

3. No matter how slow you progress, you’re still ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.

4. If you find a hair in your food and send it back to the kitchen, heavily salt it to make sure you got a new order.

5. Gatorade or Powerade is only healthy when it’s during a workout, and watered down. Otherwise it’s all just extra sugar and empty calories.

6. Accidentally used a permanent marker on a dry erase board? Scribble over the same area with a dry erase marker to remove it.

7. Put your ice cream in a big Zip Lock bag before freezing it. This will keep is soft like when you bought it, and will never bend your spoon again.

8. The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask question, it’s to post the wring answer.

9. Studying for 30-50 minutes at a time (with 10 minutes break in between) is the most effective way to retain information.

10. Humor and Laughter are 2 of the fastest ways to get rid of stress and pain.

11. A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

12. Women are most influenced by how a man smells than how he looks. Men, chose your fragrance wisely.

13. Adding “gif” in the URL allows you to create your own gif with the video.

14. Rub Canola/Olive oil in your knives before cutting onions to prevent your eyes from tearing up.

15. If you get gum on your shoe, spray it with WD-40 and it will come right off.

16. Singing in the shower daily can help boost you immunity, lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and improve your mood.